Lover of My Soul…

Today was a very looooooong day (I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot lately…).

It doesn’t help that I haven’t been sleeping well for the past few weeks… and I also just feel like I fully haven’t been myself physically, mentally, and emotionally… Perhaps I am stressed…  Well, anyhow, I was so tired today that I got lost driving from our main church campus to the new campus… And then I missed the freeway to get home TWICE after my 12-hour day.  Oh man… Yeah, I’m kind of a mess… geeeeesh…

As I was sitting half-brain dead during my last meeting tonight, we had a time of worship.  Usually, I can pretty much sing most of the songs on pilot-mode.  Our worship pastor decided to end the evening with “Jesus, Lover of my soul…” Initially, the words would just flow right out of my mouth without much thought… but the third time we repeated the song, the words all of a sudden registered in my half-dead brain… and I found myself smiling through these words: “Though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go. My Saviour, my closest friend, I will worship you until the very end.”  And as we repeated the words over and over again, I found myself smiling bigger and bigger (I probably looked pretty dorky at this point).

I was reminded that Jesus is indeed the lover of my soul…  He is the One that I need…  He is the One who made me and formed me… He is the One who knows me inside and out…  He is the One that I love and worship…  and those thoughts brought much needed smile to my face tonight… (on a side note, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that so many of my blogs this month has been about music and lyrics–since I’ve been on media-fast, lyrics have made a bigger impact… God is so cool that way!)

Jesus, Lover of my soul,
Jesus, I will never let you go
You’ve taken me from the miry clay
You’ve set my feet upon the Rock, and now i know

I love you, I need you,
Though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go
My Saviour, my closest friend,
I will worship you until the very end

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7 more days… and I can…

I started making a list (in no particular order):

  • McCoy Tyner
  • Thelonious Monk
  • U2
  • Miles Davis
  • Bon Jovi
  • Duran Duran
  • John Coltrane
  • Marcela Gandara
  • Kenny Burrell
  • John Legend
  • Gungor
  • Ottis Redding
  • mixed in with some 80’s…

The above list is just a few artists that I’ve been craving for the last few weeks… and that I plan on listening to as soon as my Media fast is over.  People have been asking me how I’ve been doing during this media fast… And for the most part, I’m doing fairly well… Yes, I miss watching tv, especially tonight because the Emmy’s are on… and I have no idea what’s going.  Boo… and I miss vegging out in front of the television on Sunday evenings because that’s what I usually do after a long day at church.  It’s so quiet right now…  Today, I came home and took a nap… and it’s only 7 pm… hmmm, what am I gonna do for another 4-5 hours until I go back to sleep?  Because frankly, I really don’t want to work tonight…

I’ve had to pass up on about 4 movie screening passes this month so far… I was sad, but I’ll live…  but what I really, really miss is listening to music… Music soothes my soul, calms my heart, and usually helps me express my thoughts that I can’t express in words.  Two days ago, I walked into Noah’s Bagels and they were playing “Reflex” by Duran Duran and then “Let’s hear it for the boys” by Denise Williams (it must have been an 80’s station) and I just got so excited (I may have looked pretty pathetic as I was mouthing along the lyrics).

Today at church, I met a potential volunteer who is an amateur musician and we started talking about great live venues around LA, and music we enjoy… right now, I’m just playing the tunes in my head… and feeling really, really, really bummed that I can’t listen to them…  I may be looking pretty pathetic right now too… So, how’s my media fast going?  It’s going great because I’ve been challenged to use my time to be more productive, but I’m definitely feeling it… So 7 more days… and I can listen to the above artists and more!!!  Perhaps I’ll do some work tonight afterall… (sigh…)

when there is no music, you make your own…

No, that’s not a metaphor for anything!!!  Don’t read too much into things…

Since my media fast began 11 days ago, I knew I’d miss the sound of the television and music… but I didn’t realize just how much… okay, TV–I’ve actually been okay without… but I really, really, really miss listening to music!  I miss listening to music when I’m driving.  I miss listening to music when I’m working.

This may sound odd, but nothing moves me more than music.  I’ve probably cried more tears listening to music than I have watching a movie…  I was so desperate yesterday that I actually played the piano that I hadn’t touched in about a year!  (But then I realized it was so out of tune that I just gave up).  And the last few days, I’ve just been singing songs to myself like a lunatic in the car!  But the last two days, for some odd reason, God’s been putting this beautiful song in my heart… and of all songs, it’s a song in español!  Not only does this song have a beautiful melody, but also beautiful lyrics… and it really spoke to my heart today (and today was a very, very looooong day with very looooooong meetings)!

ANTES de TI

Antes de ti, no había razón no había nada sin ti.
No había canción, en mi corazón no había nada en mi.
Después de tanto buscarlo lo hallé
Mi corazón encontró ese lugar.

Eres todo lo que quiero, luz a mi alma, todo lo que necesito, llenas mi espacio,

eres mi vida, mi todo, eres lo que quiero para mi y en ti encontré la razón de mi existir.
Antes de ti, un vacío viví, no había nada en mi.
Sin ilusión, en mi corazón no había nada sin ti.
Después de tanto buscarlo lo hallé
Mi corazón encontró ese lugar.

Eres mi vida, eres mi todo, eres mi anhelo, la razón de mi existir

———

Before You (it doesn’t sound as beautiful in inglés… oh, and my spanish isn’t that fluent…i had some help!)

Before you, there was no reason, there was nothing without you.
There was no song, in my heart, there was nothing in me.
After much searching I found
My heart found this place.

You’re all that I want, light to my soul, everything that I need, You fill my space,

You’re my life, my all, you are what you want for me, and you are the reason for me to exist.

Before you, there was a void lived, there was nothing in me.
Without hope, in my heart there was nothing without you.
After much searching I found
My heart found this place.

You are my life, you’re my everything, you are my desire, the reason why I exist.

THANK YOU JESUS FOR BEING MY EVERYTHING…

AND GIVING ME A REASON TO LIVE!

Before You (Antes De Ti…)

I LOVE MUSIC… that’s an understatement… and I have to be honest… I love the rhythm, the beat, the melody more than the lyrics!  Often times, I get caught up in the flow of the music… the tune causes me to smile and cry…

Last week, I was in Dominican Republic with Lifetree Adventures for a week of Operation Kid-2-Kid where we shared the love of Jesus through giving out 2,000 New Testament Bibles in Spanish and backpacks that children in the US and Canada made specifically for these children.  At each project, the children would perform a special song and/or dance for us.  At one of the projects, this melody caught my ears… and I’ve been humming it in my head since.  Today, I finally found the song!  Thank You SoundHound!!!  I actually looked up the lyrics and got them translated, and it really touched my soul!  Rarely do lyrics touch my soul as much as the tune… I just had to share it… I’m still thinking through my trip and processing all that I have seen and felt… I’m sure those blogs will come in days to come.. but for today, I just had to share this song with my friends!

Before you, there was no reason there was nothing without you. 
There was no song in my heart there was nothing in me. 
After much searching I found 
My heart found there. 

CHORUS. 
You’re all I want, light to my soul, everything you need, fill my space, you are my life, my everything, you are what you want for me and you found the reason of my existence. 

Before you, I lived a vacuum, there was nothing in me. 
Without illusion, in my heart there was nothing without you. 

After much searching I found 
My heart found there. 

CHORUS. 

You are my life, you’re my everything, you’re my desire, the reason for my existence