Ever feel like God is messing with you? I don’t mean to sound heretical.. and of course in my head, I know that God doesn’t do that. But that’s how it feels.
For the past four months, I’ve been asking God for direction. And I’m very thankful that opportunities have been presented to me… and while each one of them sound amazing, there has always been a huge “BUT…” I’m trying to seek God’s will and calling for the next phase of my life, and I don’t want to just settle into a ministry out of convenience or comfort. But the past month has been a crazy one… just when I think I’m close to making a decision, something else pops up and throws me off-course! There’s been so many curve-balls thrown my way this past month that it almost feels like God is totally messing with me. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy…
As I read through my devotional, I haven’t been able to get past this page:
Taste and see that I am good (Psalm 34:8). The more you experience Me, the more convinced you become of my goodness. When adversities strike, the human instinct is to doubt My goodness. My ways are mysterious, even to those who know Me intimately. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways and thoughts higher than your ways and thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). Do not try to fathom My ways. Instead, spend time enjoying Me and experiencing My goodness.
I know that God is good. I know that His ways are better than my ways. I know, I know, I know… and I believe… but it doesn’t stop me from going crazy trying to discern where God is leading me… I keep telling myself to just enjoy my time with Him… but much of my days are consumed by thoughts of trying to think through where God wants me to go next… this is ONE tough journey, and I know that when it’s over, it’ll have been an amazing one… but right now, it feels like it just kinda sucks!
gloria s. lee 
I can relate to the feeling of being tempted to wonder if God will ever answer. Yet there are promises in His Word: “Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find….” “If any of you lack wisdom, let Him ask of God…and it shall be given him.” “And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.”
Sometimes, He answers instantly; sometimes it takes years. There are things I have just decided are probably not as urgent as I/em> thought they were. He will lead me for this day.
You know what has helped me? Focus on doing what I KNOW He expects of me. Yes, there are uncertainties ahead; and yes, I do ask Him for further direction; but I must trust that at the right time, He will make the next step undeniably clear if I will just continue to trust and follow Him today, right now. However, if I get too caught up with “What’s next?”, it is easy to lose a grip on what is clear now. Then, why would He lead me farther when I have not been following?
This was a long comment–I hope it does not come across as “preaching”–this is just how the Lord has helped me to work through similar struggles.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart…and He shall direct thy paths.”
On the same journey,
Sheila 🙂
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no, not preachy! 😀 thanks for your encouragement… life is a journey, ain’t it???? and it’s filled with lots of ups and downs that’ll teach us great lessons along the way… but there are times we sure wish it was easier… 😀
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