Today’s regrets:
*I got ready to go to the gym, but never left the house.
*I had instant noodles for lunch and dinner. I don’t even want to know my sodium intake for the day. I’m sure I will wake up swollen tomorrow.
*I got lazy. Instead of working on things that were on my list, I sat in front of the tv and my laptop for hours being very unproductive.
*I meant to spend extended time in prayer and meditation…. instead it was cut short because I wanted to take a nap.
My life regrets (so far):
*I lied to my dad a lot during my teen years!
*I cheated on Trigonometry tests (and deservedly so, I got caught–regret is for cheating, not getting caught).
*I made excuses to not have dinner with my grandpa and/or dad because I just wanted to go home and rest.
*I didn’t call my grandparents as often as I should have (especially when my grandmothers were alive).
*I get impatient with my dad a lot.
*I didn’t make as much effort to spend time with friends who probably could have used a friend.
*I didn’t make much effort to spend time with my brother when he was younger.
*I said some hurtful things to people out of my own hurt and anger.
*I failed to show love to people that probably needed love the most.
the list goes on and on and on… there are many things I regret. I have yet to live a day without any regrets. But as I look at my list, today’s regrets seem much more trivial than my life regrets. When I look at my life regrets, they all have to do with relationships or my wrong-doings. My dad talks about how he regrets never living out his dream of learning to fly an aircraft or navigate a ship (it’s like he never outlived his childhood dreams– such a boy thing to dream). Sometimes we regret never having lived out our dreams.
From small things that seem trivial to big life things, we are all faced with opportunities and choices. For me, my selfishness or laziness often leads me to make choices that lead to regrets. Life passes by faster than I can keep track of, and I don’t want to live a life full of regrets. That’s what our society tells us–to live life without any regrets. Sometimes fear of regrets paralyzes me from making decisions.
Thankfully, God doesn’t keep track of my regrets… but He is God of second-chances. I don’t have to dwell in my regrets… but tomorrow is a new day where I can try my best to make wise choices. Tomorrow is a new day where I can make some of my wrongs right. Tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities.
That tomorrow is fastly approaching for me… I desperately want to make the right choice so that I won’t have big regrets in life… but in the midst of all this, I realized that with most regrets, I have learned valuable lessons. Once again, I’m reminded to focus on the process and experience the process to the fullest, rather than being consumed by making the “right decisions.” So I realize regrets aren’t the worst things… because they show me how short I fall of God’s greatness… and they show me that I need to trust in God to lead me each day… and they are amazing life lessons that help me grow.
gloria s. lee 