indebted…

I am ridiculously blessed…

I have been a recipient of unimaginable kindness and generosity of family and friends throughout my life… I thought about writing them all down, but it would literally take me days, but here are few to give you an idea:

  • My grandparents along with my aunts & uncles took me in and raised me for four years after my mom passed away.  At the time, I had no idea how much they gave… but they put me through school, very expensive piano lessons from a college professor, and everything else I needed.
  • 2 Grandmas and 7 aunts stepped in to take on the role of my mom… they did a bunch of mom-duties such as taking me to get my ears pierced, taking me shopping, life talks, etc…
  • A relative wired me $2,000 when my financial aid took forever to come through during my sophomore year in college.  With that money, I paid for my rent, food, books, etc…
  • Many friends put me up on weekends when I attended seminary in LA, and commuted up to SF to do ministry for three years!  All of them were gracious hosts, and some even gave me a spare key.
  • My friend gifted me a $500 digital camera when I mentioned that I wanted a camera to take photos on my trip to Brazil (this is when digital cameras first came out, and costed this much–that was for 5 mega-pixels, and we were “wow” over it).
  • My friends lent me their car to drive for months after my car was broken into for the 3rd time out of my driveway.
  • And of course, I have to mention countless free meals I have enjoyed from my pastors, friends, and family members… and this is important to mention because FOOD is my love language!
  • I’m constantly told that I’m being prayed for… via email, text, facebook, phone calls, and in person!
  • And the latest… a friend voluntarily paid for my airfare to Dominican Republic, a service trip coming up in less than 2 weeks.

I have mentioned a lot of BIG things above… but I’ve been blessed in so many small ways as well… including all the rides my friends gave me to airports, which is A LOT!!!  When I think about how much I have received from so many people, I feel indebted to them… and there isn’t enough “thank you’s” to express how grateful I am.  What’s even more amazing is that they all did it without expecting anything in return!!!  Seriously???  Each one of these amazing people in my life have extended the love of Jesus to me in tangible ways!  It’s overwhelming to be on the receiving end!

I know some other people in my life whose mantra is “don’t let anyone do anything really nice for you because they’re always going to want something in return.”  They calculate everyone’s kindness… and it makes me sad.

I couldn’t possibly repay everyone for their generosity in my life.  I feel indebted to so many.   Most of all, I’m indebted to Jesus, my Savior.  Thankfully, Jesus willingly died and rose again for my sins, and He doesn’t expect me to repay Him.  What He wants is for me to love Him with my heart, soul, and mind… and to live a life that overflows out of my growing love for Him.

I have been incredibly loved and blessed by so many… I can’t help but to feel indebted, but it’s being replaced by this thing called love & grace.  It’s not about feeling the need to repay, but being humble enough to graciously accept love and generosity of others… and to extend that love and generosity to others…

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