life altering decisions…

Have you ever made any decisions that could change the course of your life?  I know, this sounds really dramatic… but I believe I’ve made some of those decisions in my life whether I knew it or not at the time.  One was choosing to go to Berkeley over UCLA for college. At the time, I just wanted to get far away from home as much as possible… and I just wanted to prove that I’m just as good as my two cousins that went to Berkeley.  However, after my first year, I was completely miserable,  and I was sure that I had made the biggest mistake of my life.  In fact, I had even begun the process of transferring to UCLA my sophomore year.  Thankfully, I was lazy and never finished the paperwork… and my four years at Berkeley ended up being the most wonderful and influential time of my life.  I believe a huge part of who I am has a lot to do with my time at Berkeley.  That’s also where I first had the calling to go into ministry (although at the time, I didn’t realize that it was a true calling).

Since then, I’ve had few more decisions that I’ve made a long the way which had huge impact in my life.  Each time I started or left a ministry, it was a big deal because I felt that would change my life in a drastic way… and to an extent, it has.  Recently, I’ve had to make few more decisions… and to be honest, I suck at making these huge life decisions. Why???  Because it’s SCARY!!!  It’s really hard to go into something without knowing the outcome… and of course, that’s where faith comes in.  Apparently I lack faith…

The latest big possible life-altering decision came very hard… I kicked and screamed to God for months… I kept telling Him “I’ll do ANYTHING for you, but this…”  I kept looking for a way out… I was ACTIVELY looking for a way out!!!  But in the end, God sent amazing friends to talk some sense into me and challenged me.  It’s taken me awhile, but God has been working in my heart… and I can finally say today without a doubt that I AM AT PEACE.

I think I’ve lived long enough to know that God uses every experience and situation to prepare me for the next step of my life… well, I’m now preparing to enter into that next phase of my life… and I look forward to seeing how the next phase will change my life to further experience God’s goodness and perfect plan for my life!